Social reject equals to Esilenna Bryan

I'm sitting by the window ledge, glancing at the street full of people passing by, not really paying much attention to each and every one of them, and just looking, as usual. I feel a sudden surge of emptiness in my chest; it felt so tight that i thought for a moment, my chest was going to burst. It has always been this way for me. Starring at people walking hand-in-hand in the streets and thinking, when is that going to be me? The couples look so in love with one another, all lovey-dovey and such. I buried my face in my hands and stared into the reflection of myself that can be seen from the glass of the window. I didn’t like what i saw. Messy tuff of black wavy hair that juts out in every direction possible, a slightly sharper nose than before (believe me, it was not plastic surgery I pulled it practically everyday in hopes of getting a higher nose bridge), huge eyeballs that make me look either very afraid or very aggressive, depends on the person's point of perspective (I'd say neither is very favourable but if I don’t have a choice and have to choose, I'd rather look afraid than aggressive), a small pout of a mouth (it's my most favourite feature cause at least I'd be able to say I have Angelina Jolie lips, HA! yeah right! But at least they are nicer than my other features which makes them, erm.... much nicer, to me at least) and what's more, I'm on the plump side, I'd rather say plump than something as direct as overweight. Though it's a fact, I'd rather describe myself as Junoesque. Not to mention, in addition to that, you could say that I’m sort of busty as well.

Sometimes I really wish that someone will look under all these and actually love me for who I am not what I look like. But I guess, it is only human to be so superficial and all. Even I do judge people by their looks, so who am I to comment on others? But I am sure that my prince will like what he sees inside of me. If only I had a prince now.....

Like a rebuttal in a debate, an aggressive voice in my head brushes off that idea in a minute:

''Nah, things have been going on like this for thirteen years right now. Perhaps it's better off this way don’t you think?''

As if in agreement, rather, facing defeat or in this case reality, I had to agree with that voice... Oh I am so sorry, I was too overwhelmed by my thoughts that I forgot to introduce myself! How atrocious of me! I sincerely apologise!

I am Esilenna Bryan, thirteen this year, an utter social reject (well not utterly but I am considered one since I'm never in the IN-crowd of my school, not even once), boyfriend less, a fibber (or rather, I have a rather wild imagination to be exact and tend to talk about it a lot) and I am considered to be rather tall for a girl. Other than all my short comings, I am sure we'll be the best of friends don't you think?

Here! That's better! Though i know talking to an imaginary friend is not beneficial psychologically, but, I guess it doesn't apply to me. I am already crazy as it seems! It pays to be polite even to an imaginary friend! We wouldn't want mother to scream at me would we? Yikes I am getting too carried away again. Perhaps we should stop for today? Goodnight! I love you my imaginary friend. Don't think of me as too mad now, alright? Yes, it is a promise! We shall think of a name for you in the morn'! Wait! I've got one now! How about, Jules? Aha! So you like it eh? Jules it is then. Good night Jules! We shall have a good day tomorrow.